time for a change

I was a little hesitant to post this but I want to be honest and authentic with my readers and friends. I also wanted to be able to celebrate my victories with you all and I can't do that unless I am honest with you. I wanted to share with you my weight gain/loss and why I think its time for a change. When I first started working at McLean Bible Church 7 years ago I weighed 120 pounds, I was at this weight for years before I started working at the church and I was very active with a Golds gym membership and loved running outside. Working at a church that had 13,000 members can be stressful and I found myself working overtime and volunteering allot with my students. I didn't have as much time for the gym as I did before and when I met Scott 3 years ago I weighed 140 pounds. 

When Scott and I got engaged I entered one of the most stressful seasons of my life. I was preparing for a marriage essentially on my own and knew I wasn't going to have any financial help from my family. I had to figure out a way to invite everyone to the wedding on a very small budget. I preferred to just have a small wedding but Scott wasn't able to cut down his side of the guest list. To cut down the costs I suggested we do an open/potluck wedding and we managed to get 350+ guests. The months before our wedding I was constantly overwhelmed and stressed. I also had a major fall out with one of my best friends who was also my gym buddy, so instead of hitting up the gym and possibly running into each other I was at home preparing for this massive open wedding. While doing this I of course snacked and because I have the sweetest tooth ever I always had a bag of sour skittles in my desk drawer or my car. Our 7 month engagement flew by and the night before our wedding I weighed close to 160! I wasn't to excited that I wasn't going to look like the bride I wanted to look like when I walked down that aisle the next morning.  

After the wedding we spent two glorious weeks in Hawaii. My husband loved his new wife's body, but I still had issues with my weight and I wanted to lose all the "engagement weight" as soon as we got home to be an even hotter wife for my husband.

When we came back from our honeymoon I started my running routine. I was running 6 miles every other day and at least 2-3 miles on my regular workouts. I was also still going to Golds to lift weights/take the classes. But I noticed that I started feeling really sick on my runs and things would start to smell really bad to me. Scott had a business trip to LA and after a night of painting our downstairs bathroom and drinking a glass of wine I realized "I think I'm pregnant!". Sure enough we found out that we were pregnant with a honeymoon baby. I asked my OB if I could still work out and she said I could as long as my heart rate doesn't reach over 140. I ran outside for another month or two, but I was so clumsy I was afraid I would fall down and injure Judah.

I did however still go to the gym all the way up to my 8 month of pregnancy. I was going at least four times a week and I was lifting some weights, doing the elliptical for an hour and walking on the treadmill. I did get mean glances and comments from people saying I was injuring my baby. Judah turned out just fine and I think working out actually helped me during my pregnancy. But my weight crept up to 199 pounds. Judah was born almost a month early.

I did lose a bit after I first had him. I thought that I was going to continue to lose weight over the past year especially since I was breastfeeding. But my milk dried up by 5 months and I hit a wall with my weight loss last summer when Scott's work travel got really crazy. We were all over the place and it was hard to have a consistent work out schedule and easier to just order pizza while we were on the road. Also family stress and the stress of raising a child with no real support in the area has hit us pretty hard this past year and I wouldn't make good eating choices.  

Since our wedding anniversary is next week I've decided its time for a change, no more excuses I can get back to my pre-engagement weight. Yesterday I started Couch to 5K, is a free Apple app for your phone and it teaches you how to slowly get back into running. When I start things I like to go all the way and with running if you haven't' been running for awhile you can't just go out and run 3 miles or  you might get an injury. This application is teaching me how to get back into running slowly. 

Yesterday we ran/walked 2.5 miles. 

We stopped by the park in our backyard so Judah can play and walk around while I stretched. Normally I just take him inside after my run but when I do that I have to change his diaper, feed him and put him down for a nap. Then I realize hours later when my muscles start to ache that I never stretched. At least at the park I have a few mins to stretch while he inspects the park and gets his energy out so he can come in and have a nap.

Also, Scott and I also started juicing a few weeks ago. I've noticed a change in my attitude after drinking a juice in replacement for my lunch. I also take fish oil to make sure my body is able to absorb all the nutrients from the juicing.

So here it is. Its time for a change. I am going to work this weight off and feel better about myself. I'm letting you all know so you will be able to hopefully celebrate with me in my journey and feel victorious with me when I hit that 160's in my weight loss, my goal is to get to the 140s or even lower but I want to celebrate when I finally get into the 160s. I know it will be a hard, but I think once I start consistently losing weight I will feel encouraged and start to really stay focused on my goal instead of wanting to just give up because its taking to long. Right now Judah is now almost 15 months and I'm feeling pretty discouraged that I still weight in the 170s, but that will change and I can't sit in my discouragement, I need to do something about it. 

Today since it was raining I burned 639 calories on the elliptical at home. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post full body pictures of me in my workout cloths.

Today's weight in 175.5. (Ugh I hate sharing this online) but thank you for joining me in my journey and hopefully I can share lower numbers soon so we can all celebrate and do fist pumps in the air (hey that burns calories)

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colorful things

I love color and when I thrift my eyes scan the aisle for colorful things. I think that this is the only reason why I spotted this rare vintage GE clown record player at Unique this weekend for only $20! I screamed and almost cried. We found an outlet and some records to test it out and it works!  Later on the drive home I did some research and found out that this record player is rare and the ones that have been sold online don't even work because they need a new needle. The one I found works and doesn't need anything. Just some records to play.

 The record player is the perfect addition to my little crochet office that is right next to my kitchen and living room. 

This morning, I drank coffee while Judah munched on some homemade blueberry muffins I made over the weekend and we danced to the soundtrack of the "west side story". 

After our morning Library trip and Judah's afternoon nap we went on a 2 mile walk. Judah held on tightly to his little dinosaur, occasionally dropping it to frantically wave at people and scream "Hey!' I think everyone in our neighborhood thinks that Judah is their best friend. Just this weekend at Home Depot I had a woman approach us and said "Hey you got bigger from last week" and she started talking directly to Judah. I explained that we don't know her and she said she lives in our neighborhood, after we left home depot I remembered who she was. 

Took Judah to an ER Dr's visit this afternoon. While changing his diaper I found this weird bump/cut on him. The Dr said its a cyst and she wasn't able to drain it so she prescribed some antibiotics. If it doesn't go away in about three weeks then I have to take Judah back in. We also found out that he is still in the 90th percentile for height and average for weight. Looks like he will be tall and skinny like his daddy.  He was such a flirt and kept saying "HEY!" to all the nurses and blowing kisses to some. 

Afterwards I grabbed Starbucks (I needed it badly today) while Scott and Judah grabbed a burger.  

Have I told you that I started a new project called "granny square a day". I wanted to make something really pretty each day and decided that I will make colorful, floral granny squares. I'll keep making at least one a day till December then stitch some up for Christmas gifts for some of my family members. I think they will make beautiful throws. 

I have so many colorful spring projects that I am starting up in the next few days! I can't wait to share them all with you!
Hopefully I get a good nights sleep tonight, we have someone from animal control coming over tomorrow because something has been "thumping" in our attic for the past few nights waking both Scott and I up. I'm to scared to let Scott go up by himself, images of a raccoon attacking his face like Elf come to mind. I would rather have the raccoon or whatever it is attack a professional while Judah and I are out of the house. 
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how to rest

I have a problem....I don't know how to rest and I've had this problem for as long as I could remember. My husband actually offers to pay me to take naps and he is serious about giving me money for taking one. Maybe the reason why I don't know how to rest is from the years of working in full time ministry, I always had my emails sent to my phone and allowed myself to essentially be "on call" at all times. I would receive around 200+ emails over the weekends. Then I think my rest issues progressed even more when I became a full time mom to Judah. I didn't sleep well while I was pregnant with him and after he arrived I would use the times he took naps or when he went down for the night to accomplish a million other things. Today was pretty brutal, my husband woke us all up at 7:30 am because he thought we had a spider in the bed, after we frantically searched the entire room, shook out the blankets and sheets we were to wound up to go back to sleep. 
We went downstairs, I made breakfast and some extra strong coffee. After playing with Judah for a bit I told Scott that I was going to go upstairs to take a mini nap since I was dragging extra hard. I try to make sure our bedroom is a place of comfort with our california king bed, super comfy comforter and lots and lots of pillows. I wanted to make sure I can "rest" in my room. As I was trying to fall back to sleep I was watching the trees bend and sway in the wind and noticed snow flakes. I got excited, jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to tell Scott and Judah. My nap quickly forgotten, I had a temporary burst of energy like I do when I get the opportunity to actually rest and forgot about rest till I was dragging again a few hours later. 
Im jealous of both my husband and son. They know how to rest. Thank God Judah inherited this from his father. 

I dont understand how this concept of rest is so hard for me. My husband can close his eyes anywhere and with in 5 mins he is snoring, we could be in the middle of a hurricane/tornado/end of the world and he could still fall asleep. For me I can "think Im asleep" but realize hours later that I was just so focused on all my thoughts that I was lying down awake in deep thought. 

My rest issues don't even start and end with sleep. Its also with trying to sit still and not feel like I have to always do something. During the weekends my husband tells me to rest, relax, to go upstairs and take a nap. But I always feel the need to organize/clean/cook/crochet or take care of Judah. 

Maybe one day I will actually figure out this whole be still and rest thing, but until then Im sure I will be personally keeping Starbucks in business.

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Giveaway on the Anderson Crew Blog

I am sponsoring a giveaway today on The Anderson Crew's Blog. Go check it out to win a free custom made hat! 
Also, spring fever has hit my shop, make sure you stop on by to see the newly listed items. I'm kinda in love with daises and my sons silly smile. 

I have a few "Daisy" the Elephant hats in the store. 

Since I love encouraging people so much I thought I would add daisy friendship bracelets to my shop. They come 2 in a pack and you are able to keep one for yourself and give the other to someone else. They are perfect for spring.

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embrace the camera - trust

I haven't really blogged in the past few days. Yesterday was part 2 of my 4 part visit to fix the nightmare root canal I had a few years ago. I'll be honest. Even though I am seeing the best dentist in the Northern Virginia area I am still terrified of sitting in that seat. I know this greatly has to do with my past, people hurting me over and over again so I just assume with each situation that I would get hurt, so instead of bringing on more hurt I would rather just endure the pain I am in. But what I am learning is to trust, trust that the Lord is not going to bring hurt out of every situation in my life. Even my dental situation. Yesterday my Dentist took out the medicine that they put in my root canal, filled it and did this cotton cap till I am able to see my other Dentist for a permanent cap. I decided I was going to trust him and I was so calm with my dentist I even had my eyes open right before they were going to numb me. I stopped him and said "wait what am I doing?! lets do this all over again I need to close my eyes because that's a BIG needle!"After I was numb they started the procedure, he even apologized in the middle of it because they kept taking extra x-rays, he said "because of my past dental experience he wanted to be extra anal about this procedure to make sure I am not longer in pain". He didn't make me feel shame or stupid because of my past, instead he affirmed what happened to me with my previous nightmare experience and assured me he was going to be meticulous about taking care of me. I could feel some barriers around my heart start to come down.  

Its the next day and I was going to take Judah to DC but we let the morning slip by. We were hanging out at home and having to much fun because for the first time in years I don't feel any major pain in my mouth and I am not on any medication. I trusted my dentist and he was able to fix me. 

We decided to have a mini snack picnic outside by the park. 

Judah is really this happy all the time. 

Although he does get a little serious when he eats. 

Does anyone know how to get grass stains out? He push himself backwards down this mini hill, while kicking off his shoes and has grass and mud all over his jeans. He was moving pretty fast and I couldn't stop laughing at him laughing at himself. 

I love how Judah has a heart that trusts me. That his heart is not yet tainted by the world and hasn't been hurt so bad where he has to distrust everyone he sees. He instead blows kisses, shares his toothy smile and will hug anyone he sees. I as his parent am teaching him boundaries and how to be careful with strangers. I l really love his innocence. Scott always tells me that Judah is a mini version of who I would have been if I wasn't tainted by my parents abuse. This thought brings joy to my heart, and I know I will always continually make sure I am that healthy, loving mom that will not let her son have the same past that she did and to protect him from people that will hurt him.

For now I don't have to worry as much, since he is around me 98% of the day. For now all I have to do it enjoy my sons sweet smile, his happy heart and his wonderful snuggles. 
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thrifted goodness

Who said you can't have fun dressing up a boy! One of my favorite things is finding cute cheap and sometimes if I am lucky vintage outfits for my son. On Saturday when I was thrifting I picked up a thermal long sleeved shirt and one of those clip on ties. The plastic part of the clip on was poking out so after I washed both items I decide I was going to take the tie apart and create my own dress up shirt for Judah. 

All you need is a tie, it doesn't have to be clip on, a shirt, some embroidery thread and a sharpe embroidery needle. I bought the shirt and tie for 99 cents each and already had the rest of the supplies at home. I took apart the tie and just stitched it onto the shirt, took me 10 mins. 

Also many of you know that Judahs beloved push buggy was stolen from our front yard a few weeks ago. We use this buggy for everything, post office runs, our daily walks and I take him to the park in it. Its one of our most used toys for Judah. We decided this weekend we were going to find one on Craigslist since I already visited the local thrift stores for a whole week and wasn't finding anything. Found five buggy's for sale and they were all asking $25+ for them. Finally I heard back from someone who was willing to take $20 for it and we jumped on the offer, Scott texted me once he picked it up saying "Its brand new!"We took it out for a neighborhood walk yesterday and Judah was all smiles. 

He gave us some extra smiles when we stopped by our park. 

So thankful for the thrifted shirt/tie combo (I was able to pick up a few more things) and that we were able to score the buggy for Judah off of Craigslist. I love being able to thrift/search craigslist or even yard sales to find good deals. 

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weekend jealousy

On the weekends I get jealous. I'm jealous that Judah is all of a sudden my husbands best friend. Normally I am Judah's world, he is a natural mamas boy and he loves to play with me, cuddle with me before naps, talk to me and want me to carry him around. But during the weekends I sometimes feel that I'm the third wheel or that Judah doesn't notice me.  He will throw a fit if Scott walks out of the room with out him, even if its to go to the bathroom. Today Judah actually broke the other baby gate we had bolted into the wall because he was trying to open it to get Scott who walked downstairs for a few minutes. He is very much a daddys boy on the weekends. Like this morning, when Judah just wanted to sit on Scotts lap and he was tugging at his shirt and talking to him in his sweet little baby voice. The whole scene was tugging at my heart as I sat there thinking, Judah tug at my shirt, talk to me. 

Later after a fun afternoon of thrifting with my friend Laura, I came home and tried to take some pictures of Judah and I on the couch. He snuck off it before the first picture. Judahs new favorite ething is to quickly cannon ball off the couch onto the floor. 

Then he decided he wanted to play with my hair.

Right when I was giving up all hope on a nice picture with Judah, my sweet boy decided to give me a hug. My heart just melted and I forgot all about how jealous I get of him and Scott. 

Scott took Judah on a walk this afternoon while I caught up on some crochet orders. 

Then tonight I tried out one of Scott's many juicers. I guess before we were even dating Scott used to have "juicing" parties at the house. He has several juicers and all his friends would bring over weird things to juice and try out. Like onions....gross.

I wanted to try it out since I used to drink Robeks all the time. I looked in our fridge and found some granny smith apples, kale and carrots. Juiced it all up, used a bit to much Kale but I was able to  even  out the taste with some extra granny smith apples slices. I told Scott I would like to be ale to switch out a lunch or breakfast meal with one of my juicer concoctions. 

I used the handheld juicer tonight. Its allot of work but lots of fun. Took me 20 mins to juice about 16 ozs. Tomorrow we are going to Wegmans to pick up more apples, kale, carrots, ginger root, lemons, pears, celery and beets. Do you juice? Have any good recipes? We have several juicers, blenders and a food processor and are able to make just about anything. 

Both my guys passed out early tonight. Tomorrow I'll write a post on some of my thrift finds and also a great craigslist find we were able to snag today!! 

goodnight

xo

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we did it!

We actually had a game night with some adults over! Scott and I have been married for 2 years this March and have talked about having people over on a consistent basis for "game nights". So we invited the people that actually set us up, Paul and Laura, they also have a 3 year old son who loves guitars just as much as Judah does, well maybe Toph loves guitars a bit more. 
First Scott surprised me and came home early! I took advantage of this and had both him and Judah go with met to Target to pick up some game night treats. Judah loves these dogs, they walk/wag their tales and sing "who let the dogs out". I'm secretly waiting for them to go on sale for under $2.  To make Judah laugh I stuck a bunch in his cart and turned them all on. He was in doggie heaven.

When Laura and Paul came over with Toph we set up for Settlers of Catan. Laura brought her famous guacamole and we ordered pizza. 

Paul and Laura are pretty serious about the game, they have the best strategies. Toph was helping to build bridges out of the roads. 

The boys had a blast playing guitars, drinking water, eating green beans and just playing. We had easy access to see them wherever they roamed on the first floor. Judah was literally bubbling over with excitement with squeals of laughter and screams because he had a friend over to play with. We didn't plan on the boys matching tonight. 

After our game (Scott won) the guys set up in the living room to play their guitars. Paul actually crafted and handmade both of these guitars (they are acoustic). Scott who has been singing/playing for over 15 years says his guitar that Paul made him is the most beautiful sounding guitar he has ever owned. 

After awhile the boys were getting tired and were ready for bed. I am really really grateful that we were all able to hang out tonight and looking forward to more game nights with this wonderful family that we can call our friends. The great thing that they live 2 miles from our home! 

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