losing

Today I thought I was losing. We were supposed to spend an entire morning with my friend Amanda and her two daughters at the Herndon Farmers Market. We planned on meeting at Amandas place then walking to the market, afterwards we were going to let the kiddos play while we try to have some mama time. My plan didn't work out the way I expected it. Judah didn't sleep very good last night, he kept waking up, then I thought he was finally going to sleep around 7:30 am, I texted my friend Amanda and said I don't think we could make it. Five minutes later Judah was bouncing around in the bed so I texted Amanda back and said we would be over in an hour. In that hour Judah managed to dump his entire bowl of cereal on his head and the kitchen floor, I had to give him a bath, he ran around so I couldn't catch him to dress him, when I finally dressed him and got his bag together I couldn't' find my keys. I called Amanda and let her know that we can't come unless we find the keys. I was already losing the battle of having a great day and I was feeling pretty discouraged. I looked down at my son who pulled me in for a kiss and smiled at me. I thought lets take a mini break outside and clear our minds. 
We saw squirrels, birds and a neighbors cat! Judah even started to say "kit cat".

Then he found a bunch of pine cones and sticks. 

Judah kept showing his sticks to his monster doll. 

 In the midst of all this stick finding, pine cone searching and running around with my son. I realized, I'm not losing today, their is nothing better I would rather do than hang out with my son.

The weather was pretty nice outside and I didn't mind that the keys were lost.

After we went inside I ended up finding the keys in one of my pots next to one of his plastic panther toys. Since we already missed the farmers market I decided to take Judah out for a 3 mile run around the Universiry before it got to hot outside. 

I'm a hot mess after my runs. 

After the run we shared a dairy free coconut chocolate Popsicle and then Judah went down for a nap.

The only thing I've lost today is the dust off my sneakers from running three miles!
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sunshine and flowers

My sweet friends, I am overwhelmed by your comments on my last post "weeping heart" and by your personal emails and text messages. You guys really know how to make a lady cry tears of joy and make my heart feel like its runneth over. Thank you for allowing me to be able to be honest about my heart and to be able to be transparent on my blog. This means the world to me, especially after growing up in a home where I wasn't able to be transparent about my heart or feelings. 
Today I realized that my sweet boy must be in the middle of a big growth spurt. I feel like he has gotten taller over night. My heart just melts over the cute little things he does. He always loves to grab my flowers in the yard and smell them before we do anything for the day. Here he is smelling my daises before we went on our run, I love his chubby little hands holding the flower gently and how he will sniff at the flower a few times before letting it go. He has such a sweet little heart. 

He wanted to bring his toothbrush with him on the run. Also not pictured is a turkey baster in the Bob that he likes to hold and sing into because it looks like a microphone. Today we ran 3 miles around the local university.  

After our run we went to the pool. The kiddy pool area was still kinda dirty from last nights storm, but that didn't stop us from hanging out for over an hour. 

Judah had so much fun jumping in and out of the pool, trying to swing the noodle around, grabbing dinosaurs and screaming RAWR and chasing the ball. Its days like these that I am so grateful that I am able to be a stay at home mom. I want Judah to always remember the great summer days we will have. 

After our pool time I came home to a package from my good friend Deb. She sent me one of Wolf's outfits for Judah. I screamed because it so cute! I can't wait for Judah to wear this tomorrow when we go to the farmers market with some friends. 

Then once Judah fell asleep for his nap I logged onto IG and saw my sweet friend Emily painted a portrait of Judah with cute fox ears! I am so in love with this painting! Be sure to check out her Etsy shop, not only is she an amazing seamstress who sews the most darling little things for your hair but she will be posting these paintings in her shop. 

Im off to bed, we have a few busy days ahead of us, including meeting up an IG mama tomorrow and taking our kiddos to a local farmers market! Sunshine, friendship, fresh fruit/veggies, flowers and kiddos laughing. It will be a great day.

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a weeping heart

Up until recently my husband rarely saw me cry. Its not that I didn't want to cry, I was just raised in a home where my father would put me down or beat me for crying or showing any type of emotion that wasn't happy. This left me with the inability to cry in front of people and I would sometimes appear aloof. When things or people would hurt my heart and make me want to cry I would normally wait till I'm in the shower when no one can hear me and bawl my eyes out. Over a year ago I decided to start going to trauma counseling. I knew I needed this for awhile, especially because of my past. Im a big advocate for anyone regardless of your past to go to counseling. I always thought my past wasn't "as bad as others" it wasn't "as bad as the children I worked with in third world countries" I didn't "sleep in the garbage slums" and I "drank clean water". On one of my missions trips to Egypt we worked with the children who lived in the garbage slums and stayed with them for almost two weeks. I realized, I have so much in common with these girls. When I was with them my heart started to weep, then I started to hug them  and they would hug me back and we would cry. We barely understood each others language, but they knew and I knew, we were the same, we had similar wounded hearts and similar pasts. We hugged and we cried. 
Slowly by going through counseling and actually allowing myself to heal from the trauma of the awful things my father and mother did to me. I noticed my heart was starting to change. It was like I was telling the little Jessica that was hiding, that stuffed her feelings, that wore a brave face and wouldn't cry when her father beat her. I was telling her "Jessica its okay to cry". 
Then the floodgates opened up. I now cry at everything! Every Hallmark commercial, every rainbow in the sky, when ever I see someone wearing one of my hats, when I get a text or email from one of my friends or even my sons smile, I cry at everything. My husband was sitting next to me tonight as I was watching the bachelorette and I started to cry when Emily saw Dolly Parton! I don't even know why I started to cry, but instead of stuffing it I allowed my heart to be so happy for this girl I didn't even know on TV and I shed tears of joy that she was able to meet Dolly Parton. I now cry over the silliest things. 
Crying is a daily occurrence at this household, and you know its quite healing. 
Just like the spring rains soften and brings life from the earth. You O'Lord have soften my heart with  tears and have flourished a garden of joy in my heart. 
I now have a joyful, sappy and occasionally sad weeping heart. Its a heart that was always mine, it was just hidden for awhile, but now that I am allowed to cry I will cry tears of empathy or joy with anyone. Its a heart that freely weeps over all. 

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being a sweet bug eating boy

I'm not sure whats going on with my sweet boy. He woke up Saturday and immediately wanted to go back to sleep. He slept most of the day and was really only awake when we were yard sailing with Grandma Judkins. 

He was in good spirits while we were going to yard sales, helping Scott sort though the toys. 

A lady who fell in love with Judah's smile gave her a monster from "where the wild things are" that her son had when he was a baby. Her son is now 27. I normally don't let Judah have 2nd hand stuffed animals unless I know the person who gave it to us but the lady was really nice and it looked really clean, plus Judah would not let it go. 

We ended up getting a vintage fisher price workshop (all original pieces are included) and the monster for free. Judah likes to follow Scott around the house and carry his little workshop with him. 

I tried to cheer Judah up by letting him talk to Elmo on the phone. But  he was upset when it looked like the cow wanted to eat Elmo. 

Today Judah's tummy hasn't been feeling well and he has had diaper explosion after diaper explosion. It was so bad at one point when he woke up from his afternoon nap we had to give him a quick bath and change his sheets because the diaper leaked. Even though he kept having several diaper changes he was still in a great mood, no fever, no throwing up, he was actually walking around chewing off the bug legs from his plastic bugs and would hand them to me. These things look real and sometimes I forget they are toys and scream if I see one on the ground. 

We also played outside with our DIY water table (just add water to a plastic container with toys). 

Not sure why our sweet boy is not feeling well. I thought it was teething but after speaking to Kaiser they think he ate something bad. The only thing I can think that was changed in his diet recently is his soy milk. We normally just buy the Wegmans brand but Silk Soy milk had a sale on Friday so we purchased some of that instead. This afternoon we took him off it and put him on his old stuff and it looks like his tummy has stopped hurting as much. Hopefully it was just the soy milk and he will feel better by the morning. 

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splash of color

I'm pretty embarrassed of some of my living spaces in our home. You see all my life I've moved from place to place and we never stayed in one place long enough to truly call it a home. When Scott and I got married it was really hard to make his home my home. He has already lived here for 8 years with roommates and it was hard for me to visualize a place that I am not going move from to call it a home.

Scott has decided before we got married, since he knew my past and how much it broke my heart to move from home to home, not really having a home that we are going to live here for awhile and he was going to allow me to make this place our home. After two years, I'm finally ready.

This is what my dining room looked like earlier this week. We just installed the fan, my pictures are not exactly even on the wall and I have a storage area for my yarn and inventory.  I wanted to take my yarn and inventory out of the dining room, paint the walls and reupholster Scott's chairs. 

The space has potential. Have you seen the danish teak dining room set? I think they will really stand out once I reupholster the seats. Also I love the vintage suitcase my mother in law gave my husband years ago and the vintage record player we thrifted a few months ago. I've recently thrifted a record holder as well.

Yesterday I went to home depot and picked up a sample of paint called "Sugar Pool". I love the color so much and wanted my husband to love it so I went a little crazy and used the entire sample on the wall. Just look at how the new color brightens the room.

Scott came home and loved the color so much we went out and bought a gallon of paint and spent the entire night into early morning painting our dinning room. Painting is pretty special for us. Its how we met. We were painting a mutual friends home a few years ago. 

I love this color so much! We are giving it a day or so to see if we need another coat, but so far it looks like we may just need one. After we finished painting last night Scott and I pulled up our chairs and stared at the walls for about 20 minutes, just talking about how amazing a bucket of paint can transform a dining room and how my heart now feels that this place is our home. That painting our home is healing something with in my heart that was broken years ago. This weekend I am planning on hanging some pretty pictures on the wall and maybe finding fabric for the chairs. 

Scott and I had a wonderful time on our date night tonight. We grabbed some Sushi at a place my sister in law recommended called Sushi Jin. I thought the sushi was really good and the atmosphere was perfect for a date night. Instead of visiting thrift stores we went grocery shopping at Wegmans. We found some yummy dairy free coconut ice-cream and brought it back to his parents house. Judah had a blast with his grandparents but immediately wanted me to hold him when he heard my voice, that lasted about two minutes before he was off running looking for more toys to play with. Then Scott's mom and I spent almost an hour looking through her old childhood toys. I promised that I would bring my camera next time so I could share her fantastic treasures with everyone. She has the original barbie doll with an entire wardrobe of cloths for her! I was so excited looking through treasures and sharing childhood memories I could have stayed all night, but Judah was getting tired and we had to go home. 

I forgot to take a picture of us tonight on our "real date" but I thought I would share a picture from one we had a few weeks ago at Myrtle Beach. I love my husband and how he makes me laugh. Tonight was a good night to reconnect with him, hold hands, talk, laugh and look at strange foods at Wegmans. Our hearts needed this date night tonight. 

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memorial weekend sale

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I am offering 25% off of your order at mycharmingcolors.etsy.comJust use the code "memorial" at check out.

This offer applies to all orders except for custom orders. 

Have a wonderful and safe memorial day weekend!

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finding and fixing

On Saturday I went to Bubbles Salon for a bang cut. I wanted to keep my long hair for the summer, but my bangs were driving me nuts. When I walked into the salon a lady was speaking to the receptionist about a stylist who messed up her hair and she wanted a refund. I thought "maybe I should walk out" but my stylist called me back and rushed me to her chair before I could change my mind. When I first saw her I thought "I don't like her hair I hope she doesn't try to cut my hair to look like hers". But she seemed nice enough and I know stylists don't cut their own hair, so I was grateful her lady wasn't cutting mine. I explained that I wanted to keep my side swept bangs and showed her a picture of how my friend Thomas would cut my hair. She said no problem that's easy. While she was cutting my hair she dropped her scissors and comb on me several times but I kept thinking "she has to know what she is doing" and I was distracted by our conversation on our sons. When she finished it looked like the picture below. I told her "I'm confused I wanted side swept bangs, these are obviously not side swept and they are all crooked" she said she gave me what I asked for. So I got up and spoke to the manager who told me they will look better when dried out and I told her they are dry! Instead of getting upset with both of them I walked out and met up with Scott and his mother next door. I knew it was a bad bang cut when Scott was trying not to laugh at me, it was okay, I was laughing at myself, I looked like an older version of punky brewster.  I don't like thin front bangs.

I ended up asking my IG mama's what to do and two of my beautiful friends who have gorgeous hair told me how to fix my hair with out seeing another stylist. They said if I put in some gel or fiber gum on my bangs while they are wet, that I can actually mold them so they will be side swept.  I'm still not completely used to them but they look a billion times better than they did on Saturday and I am grateful for the easy fix. 

Yesterday I took Judah to Good Will for a quick pop in. I've been looking for a yarn holder and the pretty little roses on this one caught my eye. It cost me a $1.

On Monday I took Judah to Unique, we haven't been for awhile since we were on vacation and I wanted to see if I could find anything. The store is completely different! Its organized. I like the organization, but I also feel it takes away some of the fun of the "great hunt for a treasure". I did manage to find a few treasures on Monday. 

The first one is this vintage canning jar with an embroidered top. This was 49 cents. 

Then I found a shirt tales wooden box. I'm planning on taking the top off of it and putting it on Judah's room to store some of his books. This box also had a little bonus inside....a vintage fisher price little people doll! This cost me $1.

I always check out the dresses for my friends Brooke and Natalie. I found this gorgeous vintage little girl dress, it's a light blue dress with embroidery and lace. I knew this was made for Luna Love and it only cost me $2.

While we were on vacation we stopped at some yard sales and thrift stores. I was able to find 10 little golden books in mint condition. I want to say this entire set cost me maybe $4 if not less. I was surprised that some of the yard sales were practically giving away the books. 

Tomorrow Scott and I get our first real date night in over two years! We were blessed to have a handful of "mini date's" at Myrtle while his parents watched Judah for us. But before his mother left she asked us to take a "real date night" when we get back. So tomorrow we are planning on dressing up, getting some sushi and maybe even stopping by some thrift stores. Thrifting is more fun when your dressed fancy with a tummy full of sushi.

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not so wordless wednesday....the stache

I was just reminiscing over the past 17 months on how we thought up of this blogs name "My little Mustache". I had previous blogs before this one but wanted to start new once I had Judah. I remember the first pictures we took of Judah and how we thought it was funny to add a "stache" to them. He was so little that we had to cut the mustache out of cardboard and attach it to one of my knitting needles. I had Scott hold it up to his face. 

Then we added the wig to some of the mustache pictures. Judah looked like a Beastie Boy. He never complained about wearing the wig or the mustache. It was actually funny watching him play after the p pictures unaware of the wig on his head. 

Then eventually I found some really neat stick on mustaches. Judah thought they were great. 

Judah and I with our stache's. 

Daddy and Judah with their stache's. 

Tonight, Judah actually took the mustache from my hand and put it on his face before he started reading his bedtime stories. I look at this picture below and I think, how natural my son looks wearing a mustache! He is not going to even surprise me when he is in high school and wants to grow a real one out. 

Looking back its kinda silly how we started the whole "my little mustache" theme. But I love looking at the pictures and laughing, they made for some great memories that will will be able to treasure for years to come. I love my son, my little mustache and I hope one day when he is older we can both look back on his "stache" baby pictures and have a great laugh. 

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